


Can I..?

by i_like_your_shoelaces



Series: Healthy/Fluffy ship fics I wrote while I was depressed [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Body Worship, Consent, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, ITS NOT SMUT I SWEAR, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, No Smut, Pining, Pining Mark, Slow Burn, Touching, barely even there, broski has it BAD, kind of a 5 plus one? more like a 6 plus 1 time they actually get together, mark asks for consent for everything cause hes great, no smut or anything close to it, slight bit of body issues but overall nothing, so slow you could roast a whole turkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:30:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_like_your_shoelaces/pseuds/i_like_your_shoelaces
Summary: Donghyuck was not always as touchy with the members. How he got there is a long story.or, Mark helps Donghyuck learn that it is okay to say how you feel, including saying 'no'.(Its actually cute and the one piece I dont regret writing)





	Can I..?

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be safe TW for self body issues, its barely there.

`e

* * *

Mark and Donghyuck were always close, so it wasn't a surprise to the world when Donghyuck clung to Mark like it was second nature. But they don't know the whole story.

It took multiple times and multiple emotional realizations from Mark to get the younger boy comfortable.

 

The first time was a shock.

It started one night back in the dorms, Donghyuck had gotten home after practicing for hours. He didn't even know if he would debut, but he still worked hard. Donghyuck was exhausted and frustrated. He practiced the same dance for a while, but he can't get this one part right.

Mark was laying on the couch, half asleep. When he heard the door open he sprung up, ready to greet the younger boy.

"Donghyuck-ah, you've been gone too long. I couldn't sleep witho- are you okay?" Mark said, moving closer to the boy, but not touching him.

Donghyuck had tears in his eyes and he was breathing fast. "I'm fine, hyung. Go to sleep."

"You know it's okay to not be okay, right? If you want to talk, I'm here. If you want to just sit in silence, I'm here. If you ever need anything, I'm here." Mark said, looking the younger boy in the eye. Donghyuck could only see sincere brown eyes staring back into his own.

"I just," Donghyuck started, setting his bag down and taking off his shoes, "you know that one part in the dance? That I couldn't get down at practice today? I did it a hundred times on it's own perfectly, but when I put it in the whole dance I kept tripping."

Mark nodded, walking over to the couch, hoping the other would sit across from him. "Go on."

Donghyuck sat down at the other edge of the couch, folding his knees to where they weren't close enough to touch.

"I don't get it. I try so  _fucking_ hard and it's not enough. I just want to get it right but I can't." Donghyuck says, voice obviously hiding tears.

Mark looked at Donghyuck, "How about you rest tonight, and see in the morning. You're probably too tired at this point to get it down how you want to. Have you even eaten today?"

Donghyuck shook his head and Mark sighed, "I'm sorry. I'll try better, Mark hyung."

Mark instantly shook his head, "No, please don't say that. Donghyuck you try harder than everybody is this goddamn industry. I'm mad at myself and the other members for not noticing. I'll make you some food and you go get cleaned up. Then we'll sleep in tomorrow and not tell anyone, okay?" 

"But you have to go to practice, you're going to debut in a few months." Donghyuck says.

Mark smirks, "I'll be fine. Besides it's just recording and I already did mine. You're more important anyways, whether I had to go or not."

Donghyuck blushed, not saying a word. He got up and went in the direction of his room and Mark took that as his cue to start making food.

A small whimper came from the hallway. Mark was already on his way after that, and he found Donghyuck in the middle of their room holding the towel and crying into it.

"Oh, Hyuckie." Mark stepped closer and hesitated. "Ca-Can I hug you?"

Donghyuck shook his head. Mark nodded, "Ok. I'm right here. Can I ask why you're crying?"

Donghyuck tried to speak but he couldn't catch his breath. Mark stepped closer, but still enough to give Donghyuck space, "Hey, breathe with me. Breathe in, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Now hold it, 1, 2, 3, 4-"

"I ca-can't." Donghyuck hyperventilated.

"That's okay. Keep trying, you'll get it." Mark encouraged. "In, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Now hold it, 1, 2, there you go, 3, 4. Now out, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Do it again."

After about two minutes of doing this, Donghyuck was breathing fine, and they were left in a somewhat comfortable silence.

"You don't have to say anything, I don't expect or deserve an explanation. I won't assume anything, just please know if you want to tell someone that I am here. And so are the other hyungs and the younger members." Mark pleaded.

Donghyuck was silent, but eventually said, "I don't remember a time that I was on this side."

Mark cocked his head confused. Donghyuck thought he looked like a puppy.

"I mean, I've always been the one to make midnight ramen and hold the tissue box. I don't think anyone has ever waited for me to come home to see if I got home okay. I- just- thank you." Donghyuck said shyly, looking Mark in the eye. Not confident, but hopeful.

Mark smiled, almost sadly, "I better change that then. You deserve it and so much more. Thank you for telling me. But also don't feel that you have to tell me anything just because it makes me happy."

Donghyuck's eyes glossed over.

"Go shower, you stink. I'll make your favorite." Mark said, smiling a little.

Donghyuck snorted, "I stink? Bitch, you haven't showered in days."

"Hey!" Mark fake yelled, but the sincere smile made Donghyuck's heavy heart lift just a little.

(The next day at practice Donghyuck was able to do the move perfectly, to the point that the dance teacher complimented him.)

-*-

The second time was full a moment of panic.

Only a few days later...

NCT U, Donghyuck, Jisung, Jeno, and Chenle were all hanging out in the practice room. Messing around and eating food.

Mark had left to get some more drinks from the vending machine down the hall. He was on his way back when he heard yells from the practice room.

"Donghyuck hyung! Calm down it is for fun!" Chenle yelled. Mark was instantly running back.

He was almost there when he heard Donghyuck yelling, "No, no, no! Please, Chenle stop!"

Mark ran in. He was confused at first but instantly saw what was happening.

Chenle and Jeno were tickling Donghyuck who was laying on the floor. Some of the hyungs laughed and others weren't paying attention. It looked as though Donghyuck was just wanting to get Chenle to stop because it tickled, but Mark knew better.

Mark threw the drinks on a chair and rushed over, "Chenle, Jeno get the fuck off!" Not sharply, but alarmed.

Mark grabbed Jeno and Chenle's arms and threw them off Donghyuck, who was breathing heavy and holding his arm's around his stomach.

"Wh-what's wrong, hyung? We were just playing." Jeno asked innocently.

Mark was too busy getting down next to Donghyuck, leaving about a foot of space between the two, "Are you okay?"

Donghyuck nodded slightly and breathlessly said, "Yeah just need to, *huff*, catch my breath."

"Do you need help?" Mark asked, and when Donghyuck shook his head, Mark went and grabbed a water bottle, eyes on him the entire time. He sat back down, keeping his space, and waited for the younger boy to breathe normal.

Donghyuck finally did and sighed, letting his head fall back against the wall he was leaning against. He took the bottle, "Thank you, Mark hyung. I didn't know how to get them to stop."

Mark stood up and Donghyuck followed. It was then that they noticed everyone was watching. Donghyuck cleared his throat, "I'm going to go get some air."

Mark opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a small smile from the smaller boy, "I'm not going far so don't say it, I won't even leave this floor. Just need some space."

"Okay." Mark nodded, watching him until he was out of sight.

Chenle walked to Mark, "Did we do something wrong?"

Mark sighed, "It's not your fault, you didn't know."

Taeyong came forward, "Can you tell us so we don't do the same thing?"

"No. Because I don't know either. He just doesn't like people to touch him." Mark said, still looking at the door.

Everyone nodded, resuming their previous activities as if nothing happened. But Mark didn't focus until he saw the sunshine boy walk back into the room, smiling true to his nickname.

-*-

The third time was full of anger.

Not even a week later.

For a while now, Mark had been asking. Always, whether it is to touch him or sit down next to him. Donghyuck felt guilty always saying no. Mark just wanted to help and Donghyuck was being difficult, he thought.

One day, it was just the two of them. Sitting on the couch and watching a movie.

Mark spoke up, "Can I scoot a little closer, my neck hurts."

Donghyuck thought to himself,  _'his neck hurts so stop being a wimp and let him get closer. it doesnt matter how you feel.'_

"S-sure." Donghyuck warily said.

Mark instantly question it, "Are you sure? I can always just put a pillow behind me. Don't just say that for me, I want to know if it is okay with you."

 _'see? he is always giving and you just take, never giving.'_   Donghyuck tried to calm the voice in his head but it didn't stop.

"No, it's fine." Donghyuck says weekly. Mark was still staring at him questioningly, but moved closer.

Their thighs were touching. 

 _'it's fine. just breathe'_ Donghyuck told himself. He was still distracted and wanted to pull away, but he didn't want to be rude.

It was starting to get better, when Mark shifted and his hand brushed against Donghyuck's wrist. 

Donghyuck flinched and curled away from Mark, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it just surprised me an-"

"Oh please don't say sorry." Mark moved off the couch to crouch in front of Donghyuck, about two feet away.

Donghyuck stuttered out over heavy breathing, "B-but I was jus-st trying to give cause I alwa-ways say no. I'm sorry f-for pulling away."

Mark sighed and got up, visibly angry. He paced a few steps with his arms on his head. Mark whispered out a small but sharp, "Goddammit!"

"I'm sorry Mark hyung, I didn't mean to make you mad, I can just suck it up, come sit back down." Donghyuck tried weakly, breathing back to normal.

Mark turned around alarmed and softer than before, "Oh my god, no, no, no! I'm not mad at you at all, Donghyuck. I'm mad at myself."

"No, it's my fault. I can sit still if you want to sit closer, just don't be angry." Donghyuck was almost whispering.

Mark sighed and drew a hand down his face, "Donghyuck. I need you to hear me and not whatever voice is telling you the wrong things."

He sat down on the couch, a full seat away from Donghyuck, but he could still see the honest expression on Mark's face. 

"I'm mad at myself because I didn't make you feel comfortable enough to say no. I would rather you always say no and be safe then say yes one time just to make me feel better. It is 100% okay to say no in any situation at all. If by the time we die, I never get to hug you I will be happier than if I forced you, or you did it just for me regardless of how you felt." Mark got out clearly.

"Please, Donghyuck. Never do that again because it hurts me to make you feel bad in any way. If any day you feel ready to even just sit closer to me, I will be glad to do it. If it's with another person that you feel more comfortable, that is okay. It is your life and your body, Donghyuck. So don't do anything for others that's not good for you."

Donghyuck didn't know what to say, so he let the voice in his head speak for him, "But I don't even have a reason. Nothing ever happened to me, no one has ever forced themselves on me in any way. I'm just being annoying when I do it."

Mark's face flashed between anger and sadness, "You have a reason: you don't like it. That is just as good a reason as any other. You could never be annoying, other than when you eat all the Pocky."

Mark smiled, but Donghyuck stayed quiet. 

"I'll be here Donghyuck, no matter what. So please don't make me feel bad. The only way you can ever hurt me is by letting me hurt you."

Donghyuck nodded and let out a small, "Yeah, okay."

"Okay?" Mark said, "Alright. Now let me rewind so we can finish watching Infinity War. I'm glad they're winning right now, Thanos needs a good ass-whooping."

Donghyuck just snorted, feeling calm that Mark was still a ways away, but closer than ever. "You do know they all die, right?"

"HYUCK!"

-*-

The fourth time was more of relief, as progress was made.

Two weeks after the last incident.

"Mark, NO!" 

"Please, Taeyong hyung! Just one movie." Mark pleaded.

Taeyong shook his head, "You know management would have a bitch fit."

Mark sighed in resignation. "Alright, whatever hyung."

When he walked out of the kitchen, plan in mind set out, Taeyong yelled at him, "Make sure that you use the window in Donghyuck's room! It makes less noise!"

"Wha- how?" Mark turned, "How did you know?"

Taeyong just smirked, "You'd do anything for that boy."

Mark was flustered, "Wha- nah, I just- you know what, shut up!" He ran out of the room.

Mark walked through the dorm and found Donghyuck laying on his bed, listening to music.

"Hyuckie, I have a surprise." Mark said, closing the door behind him.

Donghyuck sat up, "Ooh, you know I love stuff."

"Yeah," Mark snorted, "Actually it's less of stuff."

Donghyuck just smiled, "Well can I see it, hyung?"

Mark reached into his jacket pocket and took out two pieces of paper and handed them to Donghyuck. Mark was standing about a foot away and nervously played with his hands as Donghyuck read them.

"You got me tickets to Miss Peregrines?" His English accent was off but it was so cute that Mark melted inside.

"Yeah. It's tonight and there's one for anyone else you want to take. But you have to sneak out your window, management doesn't know but the members do." Mark said nervously, taking the silence as an issue, "Do you not like it?"

Donghyuck shook his head, "No! I love them, I was just surprised. I read that book a few months ago, I can't believe you remembered."

Mark blushed and looked away, "I guess it just never left my mind."

Mark heard a giggle and saw Donghyuck's cheeks wrinkle from his smile. Mark felt his heart flutter. Lately, Donghyuck has been happier than ever, and Mark could barely breathe every time the younger sent a big grin his way.

It was obvious that Mark had a  ~~little~~ big crush on Donghyuck, anyone with eyes could see it. Except Donghyuck.

That didn't matter in this moment. Nothing did other than the fact that Donghyuck was smiling hugely and it was Mark who put the beautiful expression on his face.

"Will you come with me, hyung?" Donghyuck asked, obviously nervous but trying to cover it.

Mark was surprised, "You don't have to take me just because I gave you them. Go with whoever you want to, I wont be hurt."

Donghyuck shook his head, "I want to go with  _you_ though."

"Oh," Mark smiled, "Then hell yeah! I'll meet you here at 6:00. The movie starts at 6:30 and we have to walk."

Donghyuck broke out into a heart-fluttering grin, "Perfect!"

 _'so perfect. everything about you is perfect.'_   Is all Mark could think.

He stumbled his way out, trying to focus on something other than the sun kissed boy, but of course he couldn't.

 

Mark knocked on Donghyuck's door at exactly 6:00.

"One sec!" Donghyuck yelled from inside. When he opened the door Mark saw he was wearing black skinny jeans, a black hoodie, black face mask, rainbow shoes, and _'is that my hoodie?'_   Mark thought.

"I uh like your shoes." Mark said, distracted because  _'that was 100% my hoodie oh my god the sweater paws'_

Donghyuck looked unimpressed, "Thanks, they really represent me."

"Really, did you just say that to say you're cool?" Mark snorted.

"Nope." Donghyuck turned around, locking the door behind Mark and opening the window.

Mark was confused and let Donghyuck through first, "Then what?"

Donghyuck looked at Mark while sitting in the window, "Cause I'm gay."

Before Mark could reply, the other boy had already gone through the window and was halfway down the emergency ladder.

"Oh, that's cool?" Mark yelled down.

"Shut up!" Donghyuck whisper yelled.

Mark started to climb out, "Was that not the right thing to say? I was just surprised, I'm 100% supportive of the LGBT community. In fact, I'm-"

Donghyuck slapped a hand over Mark's mouth when he reached the ground, "No, you idiot, not that. You're yelling and we're going to get caught if you do."

Mark just blushed, "My bad, heh."

"Plus, I already know you're bi." Donghyuck says, walking ahead of Mark before the other boy follows. "It's obvious to anyone that guys are on your mind too."

Mark ran to catch up, "What do you mean it's obvious?" Panic flooded through him.

Donghyuck snorted, "I found those magazines beneath your bed. I thought I would find porn but instead I found magazines about Pride and drag races."

"O-oh." Mark said, relieved.

"Don't calm down too yet, I got one thing on you." Donghyuck started, smiling a little, "Who would've thought that nervous little Minhyung would have thing for cutesy, small boys."

Mark choked, "How do you know that?"

Donghyuck shrugged, "All the bookmarked pages were of twinks. I never could have guessed you were going to be the so called ""man"" of a relationship, but it fits."

Mark just blushed, "Shut the fuck up. And why were you under my bed looking for porn?"

Donghyuck stared straight at Mark, "Blackmail. Duh."

"Oh yeah, obviously." Mark said and Donghyuck laughed and they walked into the theater, both smiling.

Mark gave the ticket person their tickets and got in line for food while Donghyuck went to the bathroom. Mark ordered popcorn, a cherry coke, and a sprite.

He waited in the lobby for Donghyuck to return and was getting nervous when he didn't show up after a while.

Right as Mark was about to text Donghyuck, he saw the younger boy walking back over. He was far away, but Mark could see he took the face mask off.

Mark looked down to grab the drinks and food and when he looked up Donghyuck was right in front of him. When Mark saw his face, he nearly dropped the popcorn.

Donghyuck had lined his eyes with eyeliner and there was tan eye shadow his lids with some dark blue smoking out prettily. Mark must've not seen it in the dark. But he was most drawn to was the layer of lip gloss on the younger boy's natural lips, obviously just applied, it was probably why Donghyuck was gone so long

"Ooh you got me cherry coke!" Donghyuck grabbed the drink, not noticing Mark's internal struggle. He watched as the smaller boy wrapped his pink lips around the straw and sipped. Mark nearly combusted on the spot.

Donghyuck cleared his throat, "You okay?"

"U-uh yeah." Mark cleared his throat and snapped his eyes back up to the others, "You just look really pretty."

As soon as he said it he regretted it. "Sorry, that was weird-"

"Thank you. I thought you would like the blue..." Donghyuck said shyly, staring at his shoes.

"You don't have to do anything for me, Hyuck." Mark said, "But it looks beautiful."

Donghyuck smiled at that, "I know it does, I did it."

Mark laughed, "Come on, we need to go. It's 6:28 already."

They walked to the theater and sat all the way in the back. There wasn't a lot of people here, as the movie was in English and subtitles are seen as a nuisance to many. 

"Do you want me to translate, or are you okay with the captions?" Mark asked.

"I'm fine with the captions. Plus, I need to learn more English if you ever let us meet your parents." Donghyuck says.

"You do know they speak Korean too, right?" Mark said, confused.

Donghyuck nodded, focusing on finding the best piece of popcorn, "Yeah, but you said you like speaking in English with your family. You feel more at home."

"But you don't have to do that for me." Mark said.

"You didn't want to see this movie, but you still came with me. How is it any different?" Donghyuck said.

Mark was shocked, "You're right, but I didn't come just for you to be happy."

"Didn't you though?" Donghyuck asked, eyes hiding some sort of emotion

The lights dimmed before either could say anything more.

Mark was left wondering what that meant. 

They watched the movie silently, compared to the usual comedic banter they shared during movies. 

Mark was finally starting to focus when he felt Donghyuck's arm brush his to rest on the armrest.

"Oh, sorry." Mark said, going to move his arm off so Donghyuck wouldn't have to touch him.

"No, it's okay." Donghyuck said, eyes never leaving the screen.

For Donghyuck, 'it's okay' and 'it's fine' were two different things. 

'it's fine' means 'you didn't do anything wrong, but I still am not comfortable.'

'it's okay' means 'it is okay to do whatever it was you are doing.'

Mark hesitantly put his arm back, feeling the warmth of the younger boy.

It wasn't like it was the first time they brushed arms. Hell, it was just their forearms touching, not even a big deal.

Except it was because it was the first time Donghyuck was sincerely comfortable touching Mark.

Mark tried not to show his excitement, but it was obvious by the way Mark started tapping his leg and the wide smile he was trying to bite down on.

Right when Mark had calmed down, Donghyuck scooted closer. Their thigh's touched and the back of their hands touched.

Mark was seriously going to die at the hands of this boy one day.

He turned to see if the smaller boy was just as affected as him.

Mark's eyes trailed over Donghyuck's face. Over his eyes which he did for Mark, down to his cheeks where he let his moles show without makeup, to his lips which were glossy and slightly parted in anticipation. Donghyuck was focused on the movie, but felt the older's gaze.

"Mark?" Donghyuck asked, eyes still on the screen.

"Yeah?" Mark's gaze was focused on Donghyuck.

Donghyuck reached his hand up and turned his face to watch the screen. 

_'oh my gOD HE TOUCHED MY FACE EVEN IF IT WAS TO GET ME TO STOP STARING'_

Mark coughed, "Sorry, you just look really good tonight. Your eyes are just so..."

"So what?" Donghyuck whispered back.

"They are just stunning as you are." Mark breathed out, nervousness obvious in his voice.

Donghyuck stayed quiet, but moved his foot to link his ankle with Mark's, "Tell me that when the movie ends."

Mark nodded watching the movie.

 

On the walk back, Donghyuck rambled about the movie. Mark listened, happy to see the younger so excited and free of worry.

"I mean it was not even close to the book, but it still is a good movie on its own!" Donghyuck says, before going on to explain all the differences.

Mark tried to listen but got distracted when he felt Donghyuck's hand brush his. Then again a few seconds later. Then again another few seconds later.

Donghyuck didn't seem to draw attention to it, so Mark let his brush against Donghyuck's so see if he was just imagining things.

When he felt a pinky finger reach out and intertwine with his, Mark knew.

Donghyuck acted as if it never happened, going on talking, but Mark stopped under a street light, staring at their hands.

"What's wrong?" Donghyuck asked curiously.

Mark was quiet for a long moment before speaking, "What did you mean earlier when you said, 'Didn't you?"

"Well, you always are doing things for me. I can't help but notice every time you skip a practice because I'm sick, or you take the fall from managers instead of letting me get yelled at. I can't help but feel that you always put me before you." Donghyuck said, getting quieter with every word.

"I always tell you to only do what you are comfortable with, what you want. I take my own advice. I  _want_ to do things for you. I  _want_ to make you happy, because that makes me happy." Mark explained.

"Oh." Donghyuck said quietly. 

They stood facing each other, hands linked by their pinkies.

Mark stared into Donghyuck's eyes. Mark wanted to say something but couldn't get it out. Opting instead to say, "You really are absolutely breathtaking."

Donghyuck blushed, "You have to stop saying that Mark. One day I'm going to believe you actually mean something more."

Mark just hummed and smirked. Donghyuck didn't know what to make of that.

They made their way back in silence. There was something hanging in the air, but neither wanted to ruin the giddiness they felt.

-*-

The fifth time was about a week later, complete with feelings of resignation and exasperation, but also relief.

Contrary to popular belief, Mark did actually have his drivers licence. That's where they are now.

On the highway, Mark and Donghyuck had been allowed by management to go shopping. What they didn't tell management was that the store was about an hours drive away.

It started with singing in the car and fun banter, but after it got quiet the room filled with an unrecognizable tension.

"Hey Mark?" Donghyuck asked hesitantly.

Mark hummed in acknowledgement but kept his eyes on the road. When Donghyuck didn't keep going, Mark turned and gave him a worried look.

"Is everything okay?" Mark asked, setting a hand on Donghyuck's thigh. The younger boy had opened up a lot this week. Mark thought maybe he was going too fast by moving from sitting next to each other to kissing Winwin's neck, but Donghyuck never felt uncomfortable.

Mark found that Donghyuck especially liked it when Mark put his hand on his thigh. It was surprising because it seems intimate, but the two found it casual.

"I'm just wondering, why don't you ever touch me in front of the cameras?" Donghyuck said quietly. "I mean, you even push me away."

Mark tensed and accidentally tightened his grip, "Well, I don't know really. It's just a little wei r d..."

He said the last part slow as he realized that was the wrong thing to say.

Donghyuck was steaming. He turned his face away out the window and scoffed, "Wow, okay then hyung. I didn't know you felt gross about touching me. I mean, you pinch the Dreamies cheeks, and dote on Winwin like no tomorrow. But me, I get pushed and shoved."

"No, I didn't mean it lik-" Mark started.

Donghyuck cut in, "Is it because you know I'm gay? Huh? I get you're not a homophobe, but you still seem to have a bias against me. And the only difference is that I happen to think dumb ass boys with nice eyes are cute."

"Donghyuck, just let me explain ple-" Mark felt panicked. He just wanted to say why but Donghyuck wouldn't let him.

"Oh I've heard that before. Just say it. it's because of me that you don't want to even sit next to me on Vlive or push off my arm whenever i try to hug you. You're such a confusing dude. I finally get comfortable being close to anyone. Hell, back at the dorms you even are the one to get close to me first. But as soon as the cameras are ther-" Donghyuck had tears of frustration in his eyes.

Mark swerved the car and pulled over on the side of the highway.

He turned to Donghyuck with dead set eyes, "Get out."

"W-what?" Donghyuck asked scared. _'_ _Would Mark actually leave him out here?'_

"I said, get out. Get out of the goddamn car, Donghyuck." Mark's voice was cold and demanding. Donghyuck just stared.

Mark unbuckled his seat belt and got out first, slamming the car door. He walked over to Donghyuck's side and opened the door, "I'm not going to leave you here, just get the fuck out of the  _car._ "

_'Oh so he's going to beat me up instead. Rip my skincare routine.'_

Donghyuck hesitantly unbuckled his seat belt and got out. Mark shut the door behind him.

He stayed a few feet from the older boy, nervous as to what was about to happen. Mark took a deep breath before walking closer.

Donghyuck almost took a step back but he was stopped by the feeling of two arms enveloping him.

_'oh. hes hugging me.'_

Donghyuck was shocked and didn't know what to do. Right was Mark was about to pull away, Donghyuck leaped forward and hugged back.

He hid his face in Mark's neck and breathed in the comforting scent. 

"I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. I'll try better to start reciprocating in front of the cameras." Mark whispered, pressing a small kiss to the younger's head.

Donghyuck just hummed and pushed himself even closer.

After a while of holding each other, Donghyuck said, "Why, though. Why did you always move away?"

Mark could see the vulnerability in his eyes, he sighed and answered honestly, "I guess I thought if I got too used to it, then I would be devastated when it was taken away. I just didn't know how to cope with the fact that it might just be for fanservice."

"Mark, why would I force myself to do that? You have taught me to never do anything that isn't good for me.  _You_ are good for me." Donghyuck said before grabbing Mark's hand and dragging him back to the car.

"Now stop being a little bitch and drive me to Holl-eist-er." Donghyuck said.

Mark laughed at his cute accent, "It's Holl-ist- actually never mind. Let's go to Holl-eist-er." 

He started the car and drove them to Hollister only to find it closed.

(everyone laughed at them when they came home enpty handed, but they brought home something better instead)

-*-

The sixth time was just perfect.

Promotions were done for all units, and new albums would come out soon. But they had a FULL WEEK off of anything. Just to relax and have fun. They didn't even have to diet since they were all in such great shape.

It was the night before the week started, and everyone was exhausted from their last day at practice. Mark was washing and Donghyuck was drying the dishes.

EXO was playing in the background and they were singing. Donghyuck danced around the kitchen, putting the glasses back in the cabinet. Overdose had just come on.

"Here we go Mark! You're in-" Donghyuck started before pointing to Mark.

Mark screached out, "my hE-ARRRRRRRRRT!"

They both giggled. Mark saw Donghyuck and his heart nearly stopped.

Flushed cheeks and a sincere smile, he fell in love again.

Mark didn't realize he was staring until Donghyuck snapped him out of his trance.

"Mark, are you okay?" Donghyuck asked, still smiling but worried.

Mark shook his head, "No. How am I supposed to be when you are standing in front of me. You look ethereal Donghyuck, true to your name. You are literally glowing."

Donghyuck blushed, "Sh-shut up! It's the shitty lighting."

"No, it's just you." Mark whispered, voice getting quieter. He reached over and fixed Donghyuck's hair.

"Mark, what are you doing?" Donghyuck asked hesitantly.

Mark shrugged, "I don't know. But I can't stop." He dragged his hand down from his head and cupped the younger boys cheek.

Donghyuck's breath hitched, before catching himself and pulling away fast. "You shouldn't have done that, Minhyung."

"I-I'm sorry. I guess I forgot to filter my thoughts again." Mark sounded resigned and pulled his hand away.

Donghyuck turned his head, the tips of his ears and cheekbones a pinkish color, "So you didn't just say that to make me feel better?"

Mark shook his head confused, "No, of course not. Why, what happened?"

"I mean look at me. I'm wearing your sweatshirt and a pair of ripped flannel pajama pants. Who even rips pajama pants?" Donghyuck scoffed.

Mark smiled fondly, "I think you look absolutely amazing."

Donghyuck turned to face him with an uneasy look on his face, "Minhyung Lee, if you keep saying stuff like that I'll read into it too much."

"Read into what?" Mark was oblivious as always.

"Less of read into your words, but let my heart take them and hold onto them. I can't help but feel excitement every time you say stuff like that." Donghyuck said softly, unsure.

Mark grabbed Donghyuck's hands and stepped closer, leaving about five inches between their noses. Donghyuck had to tilt his head up to look Mark in the eye.

"Who says I don't feel the same?" Mark whispered.

They stared for a few seconds before Mark spoke up again, "Donghyuck, I don't know what it is, but I feel so many things for you. I'm not sure if it's love, but it's pretty damn close. I'm just going to say it.

I want to hug you and hold you every day. I want to kiss your pretty lips so badly. I want to take it slow and make you feel loved, I want to make you feel comfortable and as happy as you make me.

I want to be for you. Not just here to support you, but I want to wake up just to see your face. 

I want to be yours and I hope you want to be mine. 

We don't have to call it anything, but just know I want to devote my attention all to you."

Donghyuck smiled, "I want that too. I want to take it slow, though. I don't put out on the first date." He joked.

Mark just smiled and pulled Donghyuck into a hug, "I don't expect you to ever want to do  _that_. But if you do, I'm not complaining."

Donghyuck slapped Mark's back and laughed.

Words cannot describe the pure joy they both felt in that moment.

-*-

Not the last time, but the most memorable time that Donghyuck really got to be comfortable with Mark was a few months later. 

They had been taking their 'relationship' nice and easy. And it was amazing.

Basically nothing had changed other than they were able to speak their mind easier and touch each other more.

It was a regular night, everyone had gone out for dinner but Mark and Donghyuck.

They lay in bed together and talked. About how they felt, their favorite things, almost anything.

At one point, Donghyuck got really quiet, "Mark, why me?"

Mark was confused and Donghyuck clarified, "I mean, you could have anyone you wanted. Why did you want me?"

"Well first of all, you aren't some sort of toy I begged to get for Christmas. I want you in the sense that I want to love you, and being together means you are allowing me to love you. That's all I've ever wanted from you, is to let me make you feel loved." Mark said, stroking Donghyuck's cheek. The younger boy had his eyes cast downwards self-consciously.

"I love you because you are so unapologetically you. You love to be loud and joke and have fun, but you also love the quiet moments. You take care of all the other members at the cost of your own health, and you don't ever complain. I love you because you love everybody around you." Mark said.

"But look at me. You always say I'm pretty, but you have to say that. You're my boy- you're supposed to say that." Donghyuck said, specifically skipping over one word. He has had a lot of trouble putting a label on it.

Mark sighed, "Oh baby, I do not just have to say that. I'm just telling the truth. Also, don't force yourself to put a word to our arrangement. I'll wait until you are ready to decide anything."

Donghyuck just scoffed, "I mean what is so pretty about me. I look in the mirror not hating it, but not loving it. I just see a person standing there, but no reason to fawn over it."

Mark sat up and looked down at Donghyuck, "Can I tell you what I see?"

Donghyuck nodded. Mark shifted so he was sitting on his knees, in between Donghyuck's legs. The younger boy was laying on the bed, and Mark looked fondly down at him.

Mark moved his hands up to Donghyuck's face, "I see your beautiful skin that glows brighter than any star. I see Ursa Minor across your skin and I'm jealous that it gets to touch you all day. I see a cute scar by your deep brown eyes that I could stare into forever."

He used his finger and booped Donghyuck's nose, "I see an adorable button nose," Donghyuck giggled and Mark continued, "and then comes your lips."

"Your lips are probably my second favorite physical feature of yours. They are so pink and look so soft. I hope one day you'll give mine the pleasure of meeting yours. I love it when you put gloss on them, and it drives me absolutely _crazy_ when you bite your lips."

Mark moved his face down and kissed Donghyuck's forehead. Trailing pecks down his nose and pressing light ones across his cheekbones, "Is this okay?"

Donghyuck was breathless, he nodded though, wonder filling his head.

Mark then went down to his neck, "I love your collarbones and neck. They are so sharp but oh so soft."

He kissed down Donghyuck's throat innocently. Just small pecks, barely even that. It was still enough to make Donghyuck's breath hitch.

Once Mark got to the hem of his shirt he pulled away, "Can I take this off?"

Donghyuck averted his eyes, obviously nervous. He shook his head no

"Thank you for telling me no, baby." Mark said before pressing another kiss to Donghyuck's forehead in reassurance.

Mark sat up and trailed over his body with his eyes, "I love your stomach. I remember you joked about your chocolate abs, which was very clever considering you actually did have abs at the time. But it makes me happy to see them gone. They caused you so much pain with dieting and not even eating."

Donghyuck squirmed a little, but not in discomfort. More because there was so much happiness going through his veins.

"Seeing it being nice and soft makes me want to just learn to cook and make you whatever you want, because I've never seen you happier than when you eat. And I love how you have learned how amazing you still look without a perfectly flat stomach." Mark's voice was so soft.

"Can I touch your sides?" Mark asked, "Over your shirt?"

Donghyuck nodded, excited to see what was next.

Mark slowly dragged his fingers across Donghyuck's waist, "And this waist, the tiniest and prettiest one to date, it is so pretty. Whenever I hold you I love to put my arm's here because they fit absolutely perfectly."

He then reached down and grabbed Donghyuck's hands, "I love your hands. I especially love your crooked fingers. It is the only imperfection on your body, but it hold more beauty than Aphrodite herself could ever dream to have. I love holding your hands, especially on days when the two of us have nothing to do. We run around the house and stay together all day, connected by our hands."

Donghyuck giggled, he loved those days too.

Mark asked again, "Can I touch your thighs?"

He would never admit it, but that question made Donghyuck buzz. He nodded, not trusting his voice.

Mark set his hands on Donghyuck's thighs. Rubbing them up and down softly.

"These thighs, my god. These thighs are my favorite part of your body. They are the reason I get up in the morning." Mark joked and Donghyuck chuckled lowly. He knew how much the older boy loved them.

"I love how you let me put my hand on your thigh. Especially on broadcast, it lets everyone know that only  _I_ am allowed to do that." Mark growled, "They are so soft and muscular. God your legs drive me  _insane_ Donghyuck." 

"But, I would gladly go crazy. I'm already crazy for you." Mark said cheekily before leaning down and stroking Donghyuck's cheek.

Mark smiled fondly, "I hope everything I said was okay. If I'm completely honest, I held back in all of that. I could go on for hours about your body."

Donghyuck felt his eyes sting. He was so happy and in love. 

_'oh my god im in LOVE'_

"Hey, are you okay? Did I overdo it?" Mark asked, scared he overstepped his boundaries.

Donghyuck just shook his head, "I-I, uhm."

He was about to chicken out, but took one look at Mark's sincere eyes, filled with so much  _love_. It nearly hurt not to say it.

"I love you too, Mark Lee."

Mark's eyes widened. Donghyuck had never said it, and Mark never pushed him too. 

"Actually? You aren't just saying that to make me feel better?" Mark said, vulnerability in his voice clear.

"Yes. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I probably should feel something for you since you're my boyf-,” he gulped before continuum honestly, “ my boyfriend." Donghyuck said, trying to convey his emotions.

Mark just stared into his eyes, full of love, happiness, and want?

"Can I kiss you?" Mark blurted out. He immediately went to apologize, but Donghyuck interrupted him.

"Please do."

Mark was frozen, but shook out of it before leaning down and meeting his lips.

It was sweet. No tongue. Just lips moving against lips.

 _'I was right. his lips are soft'_   Mark thought to himself.

When they pulled away, Donghyuck started giggling. Mark followed.

Both were high on their love for each other.

 

 

(When the other members found out they kissed they wouldn't leave the two alone. For the first few days, Mark couldn't walk into a room without being taunted by kissy faces.

One day he had enough. He dragged Donghyuck to the middle of the room and everyone turned to see what was happening.

Donghyuck stared confused as Mark yelled, "You all need to stop. If I see Johnny hyung and Jaehyun hyung 'fake make out' one more time I  _will_ leave the goddamn group."

Mark then turned and grabbed Donghyuck's face, kissing his square on the lips before storming off back to the rooms.

Donghyuck was left staring at the empty spot, cheeks flushed red and jaw dropped.

Everyone was shocked, but they all thought it was hilarious. Especially when Donghyuck went to find Mark yelling, "Minhyung! Get back here and kiss me right you dumb seagull!")


End file.
